the fallout: on the other side


On Nakedness
April 7, 2006, 9:02 am
Filed under: gaming, you've got to be joking

It's not the first time this topic has drawn eyes…

The newest rave in the gaming community, Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion, is already known for its excellent story line, beautiful graphics, intense game play, and the mod option for having your female characters run around topless.

We all know from watching movies that the less clothes a woman is wearing, the more likely she is to survive catastrophe - be it car chases, shoot outs, or hijacking - but now you can actually create your own more powerful less dressed warrior woman to run the streets of your computer screen beating on mobs with a spoon.

The fact that there is no spoon doesn't even matter.



On the purchase of memory
April 2, 2006, 8:33 pm
Filed under: technology

Want to sound like you actually know what you're talking about when you walk into an electronics store to buy memory? A typical conversation starts with a simple question: how much will it cost to buy more memory for my computer? From there, the already-tired-of-these-questions technician will reply rapid fire: "How much? Laptop or Desktop? Do you know what speed?" and then, pausing for air while evaluating the perplexed look on your down trodden face, the technician will continue, "OK, well do you know what model computer it is?" and finally, "Why don't you just bring it in for me to take a look at it?"

So you go home, frustrated and no longer feeling like a man. You get your digital camera and when your wife's not looking you take a picture of the back of the computer so you know exactly how to plug in all those wires once you get back home. You lug the computer off to the store, stand in line for what seems like hours, and return to the same technician. In exactly point three seconds, they have the case opened, the memory out, and the new memory off the shelf. You, still trying to figure out just what went on in those point three seconds, look with horror or joy at the price tag (depending on the day) and back at the technician, who is staring at you wondering if you need help finding your credit card too.

 Let me save you (and the technician) some trouble… before you go trolling off to the store, use this very special trick. Visit Kingston or PNY's websites, enter your computer information* (either on the front or back of your computer case or the bottom of your laptop) and you'll be able to find - and even order - exactly what you need. It's important to note these three things:

1. Max amount of memory your computer can handle

2. The speed required: PC 100,133,2100,2700,3200,4200 for example

3. The number of slots you have free

That's it! From all the technicians in retail around the world, thank you.

*A note on Sony units: Sony generally gives two model numbers, on laptops one is on the bottom panel and one is by the lcd screen. If one doesn't match try the other.



and the jokes roll in…
April 1, 2006, 9:44 am
Filed under: you've got to be joking

Looks like Think Geek will hang on to my vote for the best 4/1 webpage hoax… while I'm not ready to "pin all my romantic hopes on Goggle," last year's Google Gulp still makes me laugh.

Tech site Slashdot joins in the fun by going valley girl on us, complete with links to just about every other tech site's April Fool's jokes; the best of which is this press release from Open Office:

For an undisclosed sum reputed to be in the billions, Microsoft's Bill Gates has personally bought the leading open-source desktop project. Saying he "was sick and tired of open-source eating away at his profits," the world's richest man decided to put an end to the nuisance and simply buy OpenOffice.org. It will form part of a growing list of Microsoft acquisitions, including several erstwhile competitors, a considerable number of prominent politicians, and a few small governments.

The online gaming community's best chance at attention comes from World of Warcraft's annoucement of the introduction of a new race known as the wisps. Though the announcement won't gather laughs from anyone not familier to the game, that leaves about 7 million to enjoy comments like this one about the wisp racial skills:

  • Treeform: Turns the wisp into a tree for 30 seconds. During this time, spirit is increased by 300. However, the wisp's chance to dodge or parry axes is reduced by 50%.
  • Elsewhere in the great world of the internet, Woot goes overkill on an attempted worst-woot-ever sale, Yahoo doesn't even try, and National Geographic gives us a two page report on this:

    As the U.S. government debates major immigration reform, environmentalists warn that the proposed laws would also prevent animal migrants from crossing the country's southern border.

    Only, seems they missed the memo. They're not joking.



    20 years
    March 31, 2006, 2:11 pm
    Filed under: people, sports

    Happy Birthday, Chris!



    early on the punchline
    March 31, 2006, 12:03 am
    Filed under: coolness factor, technology

    but you have to hand it to them anyway…

    celebrating 4/1 a bit early seems to be the trend this year, and Think Geek has my vote so far. We have yet to see if Google can top the ingenuity of USB Desktop Tanning Centers, Wireless Microwave Extension Cords, and the above illustrated Caffeine Inhaler. If only they weren't fooling…



    C = Q/V
    March 30, 2006, 9:26 am
    Filed under: technology

    Although spyware is by far and away the most common computer issue, the most frustrating problems all relate to power. Power problems are indicated by symptoms such as units rebooting automatically out of thin air (also indicitive of the condition known as Mac), extremely slow processes, or times of not booting. The easiest to remedy is what I call the "homebuilt virus" - incorrectly configured wiring. Power being the blood of your unit, it's important to get good, strong, and clean power and direct its flow correctly.

    The first thing you can do is buy a decent power supply. Reading a few reviews on Mvave or Newegg will give you a good idea what's good and what's just cheap. My mother used to tell me that horses will eat whatever you give them without stopping, even eating themselves to death. Thankfully, computers know when to stop: there is therefore no such thing as "too much power." More components demand more power, video cards specifically pull a large amount. Make sure you order a supply that will do the job! PC World has a good chart to estimate needed power.

    If you order a good power supply, you'll have plenty of connectors to do the job properly. Plug your fans and case accessories on one connector line, your optical drives on another, and your hard drives on their own line. This will insure proper flow of good, clean, strong power to your hard drives. Connecting hard drives in line with case fans (which turn on first) will result in poor performance.

    Once you're running well setup system, the first thing to check for when experiencing slowness or rebooting is bulged capacitors on the motherboard. Capacitors condition DC voltage, providing a clean and constant supply of power to components by absorbing spikes and supplementing lows. The stored electronic charge in a capacitor can be discharged as needed, supplying power as your system demands.

    Bad capacitors look like frozen soda cans or exploded batteries: noticibly bad!


    Bulged or exploded capacitors are caused by a bad PSU or a short on the motherboard. It's important to note that bulged capacitors don't always cause issues, however if you keep running your system, it's reasonable to expect things will get worse, and you may cause damage to other components. If you see bulged capacitors in your system, start looking into things. If you see leaked electrolyte (usually a brownish deposit on the top or side of the capacitor), pull all power and replace that board!

    It is possible to replace the bad capacitors or have them replaced by the manufacturer or a repair centre, but in this age of disposable technology, it's often preferred to just replace the board. Of course, if it's going to cost you $300 plus to do that, go out to the garage, unsolder those ugly things, and replace them! (With care and proper knowledge, of course, the author of this article not to be held responsible.)

    And one more thing: don't put a screwdriver across the terminals.



    ghost at the camera
    March 29, 2006, 3:27 pm
    Filed under: africa, travel

    One of the amazing things about Africa is that it looks exactly the same as when I left it eight years ago. The lack of progress and development left my friend (and the cameraman pictured above) stating, "It is now… the year 2006. Unless you're in Ethiopia, then its 1998. Seriously."

    I'm game for going back to 1998, at least for a visit. -jr



    boredom in the work place
    March 28, 2006, 6:41 pm
    Filed under: work

    Apparently boredom in the work place is increasing almost as fast as the price of stamps, which, you may remember, are those little sticky things your dad used to collect when he was a kid. Thankfully, we now produce helpful brain stimulating products to protect workers from the harshness of cubicle life; like these office space slash polly pocket take offs. Now that we don't have to lick stamps, retype entire letters for each correction, or flip through hundreds of address cards to find a single phone number, you'll have time to sit around and mock your mundane seven to five until you realize that maybe coffee is all there really is. . .

    Thankfully, my job is more like the running of the bulls on repeat. I drink coffee to keep up with it all. -jr



    Getting bored with what’s cool…
    March 27, 2006, 9:59 pm
    Filed under: technology

    I've moved over to wordpress. If it doesn't have an RSS feed, it's just not right. Not sure if the grass is really greener… but here I am. Go download a decent reader, add this blog, and join the club. -jr